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| Rodin — The Eve. Edward Steichen, 1907 |
How shall I hold my soul
to not intrude upon yours? How shall I
lift it beyond you to other things?
I would gladly lodge it
with lost objects in the dark,
in some far still place
that does not tremble when you tremble.
But all that touches us, you and me,
plays us together, like the bow of a violin
that from two strings draws forth one voice.
On what instrument are we strung?
What musician is playing us?
Oh sweet song.
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A magnificent valentine for everyone! Played together "like the bow of a violin that from two strings draws forth one voice." Ah, that is to be devoutly wished, but it seems wildly beyond reach for many of us.
ReplyDelete"How shall I hold my soul to not intrude upon yours?" Rilke's wisdom astounds!
ReplyDeleteIt is so easy to assume that any gesture of love could never be an intrusion. Not always true! D.W. Winnicott, the child psychiatrist who developed the concept of "good-enough mothering" (parenting), also said that parents must not abandon nor interfere (intrude) with their children. He included ill-timed praise, encouragement, questions, ill-timed loving gestures in the category of interference (intrusion). He actually phrased it as "not interfering in the 'going-on-being' of the loved one" - allowing them the space to imagine, daydream, invent, be. We can apply this concept to all relationships, not just the parent-child one: lovers; teacher-student; therapist-patient; friends, etc.
Rilke's question is such a good one to remember if we want to be respectful and mindful of the other's unfolding process - their 'going on being'.
two, intricately woven.
ReplyDeletethe word intrude though, is surprising and honest, to me. it speaks beyond such easy words as love.
xo
erin
bonnie, i appreciate what you add. makes me think of Kahlil Gibran's On Children
ReplyDeleteYour children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
i fear we are but energy. (i fear and embrace this.) we can not help but intrude upon one another, even here, our ideas and responses, in our every place.
xo
erin
Hi Erin - thank you. I so agree - intrusions and interference happen and we adapt and adjust, allow and refuse. Some intrusions are welcome. Guess we just need to be conscious, respectful and learn from our mis-steps. Being 'played' (touched by another's energies) and never quite knowing what musician is doing the playing can be an exciting part of life.
ReplyDeleteTo step in gently into the flow of this wise conversation . . .
ReplyDeleteIt is helpful for me to think of this as energy. Thank you. I think of the sun. How different it looks in the sky at such a distance. The sun here in my wood stove looks fierce, but how gently it warms me. I agree it is about respect, for others and for myself. I think if we're conscious about our energies, just like that, and how powerful we are, as energy, we might consider more carefully how we affect each other.
It is such a beautiful dance, isn't it? Exciting, as you said, Bonnie.
In Rilke's first stanza he seems to want not to be in such tight juxtaposition, to tremble when the other trembles. But when the dancing is mutual, respectful, most of all with much, much listening -- with the body, mind and heart as much as the ears -- there can be that playing as of one instrument.
I LOVE Kahlil Gibran and I will have to go find him in my library. It has been a long time since I read him, but I remember he once said that ... spiritual progress is part of human life... something like that. Rilke says ... How shall I hold my soul to not intrude upon yours? I think the thoughts are linked.
ReplyDeleteThe way I see it, a married couple is to help each other on the road to sanctity. We each have our own journey, at times our own pace, but we should have the same goal. Sometimes we "walk hand in hand", and at times take turns blazing the trail, hoping the other will catch up. Like that old prayer, "Love is patient, love is kind", etc, that is how marriage should work.
Ruth, you remind me here what i too often forget, to want not to be in such tight juxtaposition, to tremble when the other trembles. But when the dancing is mutual, respectful, most of all with much, much listening -- with the body, mind and heart as much as the ears -- there can be that playing as of one instrument. You write, we might consider more carefully how we affect each other. If ever I were to have a tattoo to help me on my journey, it should go something like this.
ReplyDeletexo
erin
This speaks to me of the respect for each individual in a relationship, to the understanding of distinctness and being able to pursue "other things", and to the extraordinary sense of oneness that comes with deep love for one another, that sense of being able to be alone together but also, because of the depth of love, being touched by what touches the one loved.
ReplyDeleteI could think all day upon the first lines of this. Ohhhh, I love it. LOVE it. love it
ReplyDeleteThat's a love song. Makes me think of my husband and how hard it is to achieve that lack of intrusion upon the other's soul.
ReplyDeleteA poetic post, perfect for Love Day.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful poem... after a long time I have read a poem, that is a song of my heart. I wish I had written this one :)
ReplyDeleteThank you
Padmavani
this is one of my favs by Rilke - and i wish you could read it in german..the english translation is not bad - but still worlds away from the original
ReplyDeleteinstead of "What musician is playing us?" it's "what violonist holds us in his hand?" only to mention one thing...
here is how i would translate it...
ReplyDeleteHow shall I hold my soul
to not touch yours? How shall I
lift it beyond you to other things?
Oh I would gladly lodge it somewhere
with lost objects in the dark,
in some foreign, quiet place
that does not tremble when your depths
will start to swing.
But all that touches us, you and me,
plays us together, like a violin bow
that from two strings draws forth one voice.
On what instrument are we strung?
And what fiddler holds us in his hand?
Oh sweetest song.