Madame Cézanne au fauteuil jaune
by Paul Cézanne
Much that may one day be possible can already be prepared by the solitary individual, and built with his own hands which make fewer mistakes. Therefore love your solitude and bear the pain of it without self-pity. The distance you feel from those around you should trouble you no more than your distance from the farthest stars. Be glad that you are growing, and realize that you cannot take anyone with you; be gentle with those who stay behind. Be confident and calm before them, and don't torment them with your doubts or distress them with your ambitions which they wouldn't be able to comprehend. Find in a true and simple way what you have in common with them, which does not need to change when you yourself change and change again. When you see them, love life in a form that is not your own, and be kind to all the people who are afraid of their aloneness.
Worpswede, July 16, 1903
Letters to a Young Poet
It's an extraordinary take on dealing with life and aloneness. Probably one of the hardest things to bear.
ReplyDeleteWhat else can he tell a young poet? That life is lonely and nothing can change that? That no matter the friends you accumulate, you are alone with your thoughts and your thoughts with you? Might as well accept and look at its advantages.
ReplyDeleteI guess Barbara Streisand's song, People Who Need People, would not apply here.
I'm thinking of a passionate soul I know who questions and searches and has so much life contained inside of their being ... they almost overwhelm others with their continual "energetic" life's journey. And then I know another who is content to never question and is happy to stay in one place and fiddle with the same thing every day. And they come from the same family! So wise of Rilke to suggest the young poet (and now, us) to respect and be tolerant of others different from oneself. And solitude is a blessing - especially in this world where we often don't have time for self-reflection at all.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought on loneliness - I know a woman who was widowed and children lived far away. She started volunteering and is so full of joy now. I think extreme (depressive) loneliness is often of our own doing - rooted in our own self-pity and insecurities.
be and let be.
ReplyDeletei remind myself of this daily. and then i fail of this daily. and then each day is new and i begin again. Be glad that you are growing, and realize that you cannot take anyone with you; be gentle with those who stay behind.
but we all want to be on the same page, don't we. we are foolish.
be and let be.
xo
erin
"The distance you feel from those around you should trouble you no more than your distance from the fartheest stars." How beautifully declared, but how difficult to attain! It is often difficult to reconcile the fruits of growth with the painful separation from those who are more content to remain behind. Rilke's equanimity is admirable here — telling us to remain calm and gentle with those who do not join our journey forward — but the very exercise of that equanimity can be so time-consuming that we sometimes feel that our growth is compromised. On the other hand, it could be argued that we are not truly growing unless we are becoming more compassionate with others, including those whose do not share our trajectory. Many questions here, which, of course, if the genius of Rilke.
ReplyDeleteLovely. I've never been troubled when I am alone, but I do think it takes a long time in life to become comfortable in our own skin, and to feel at peace with ourselves. This is touching.
ReplyDeleteBuild your own garden, Candide, but allow the gate to swing freely open, and the walls (of the last entry) to fall if necessary...
ReplyDeleteI love solitude and...I crave it and I love Cezanne too.
ReplyDeletei can find great comfort in aloneness and then at times i find it a prison. i think this is about finding that balance to embrace. we are all alone at times, even in our togetherness.
ReplyDelete